Newsletter March 2011

March 10, 2011
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We strive to bring you the most helpful and up to date information every month, and this month's newsletter is no exception.
You can scroll down through the articles below, or you can click on a headline you like to go directly to that article.
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This Month's Headlines:

Worrying Isn’t Just for Parents
Cyber Charter Schools: The Way of the Future?
Handling Teacher/Student Conflicts
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Worrying Isn’t Just for Parents

Parents have plenty of things to worry about—mortgages, bills, managing the household, putting dinner on the table, and other demands. While it seems children should be relatively stress and worry-free in comparison, the truth is even young students can feel worried and stressed about events in their lives.

It’s completely natural for all humans to worry once in a while, but some may do so more than others given their personality. Parents can help their children learn how to manage worries so they can better learn to face whatever life throws at them.

First, it’s important to understand what your child worries about. This often fluctuates depending on age and the phase your child is going through. Some of the main issues young children worry about are grades, tests, school, body image, and acceptance into groups that are important to them—such as sports teams, drama club, chorus or other group activities. There is also a lot of concern about social issues and friendships, like being made fun of or bullied, or being accepted into a group of friends.

As students get older, their worries may start to be more focused on things outside their immediate world, and how they fit into them. Topics such as politics, wars, natural disasters, pollution and global warming and human rights issues may start to be central in their concerns.

Want to know how you can help your child find the root of and ease his or her worry? Here are a few tips.

Locate the source

First, find out exactly what your child is concerned about. Talk to him or her, and take an active interest in your child’s life. The more you know about their friends, classes, school and other activities, the more likely you’ll be able to figure out where their stress is coming from.

Encourage open communication with your child. If he or she seems worried, don’t be afraid to ask, or, if they are reluctant to share, simply let your child know you are there for him or her for support when needed.

Show you care

Asking questions and showing your interest in your children’s lives lets them know firsthand that you care about them. When your child confides in you, let him or her know that you understand why they are feeling worried, and that you will help them get through it. But be sure to listen more than lecture—your child is coming to you in a vulnerable position and it’s important to tread lightly and hear them out before jumping in with advice.
Don’t forget the good stuff too! Be sure to talk about the positive aspects of their lives as well as those causing them to struggle. Focus on achievements, reaching goals and other fun experiences they have in life.

Find a solution—together

While parents’ first instinct is to fix everything, it’s important to teach your child the tools to handle their concerns themselves. Once your child has confided in you, work together to find possible solutions. This is an important step to adulthood, and helps children learn to manage stress, responsibilities and setbacks in the future.

Bring some perspective

Many times, children are worried about something that already happened. While it may seem like the end of the world to them, help them understand that we can’t control everything, and that disappointments will fade with time. Remind children that it’s important to do our best, but that we don’t always get the lead part in the play, or make the track team cuts. Praise them for their efforts and remind them that rejection helps us all grow. This kind of perspective helps breed optimism, even in the face of challenges.

Take action

If your child worries about larger social and environmental issues, don’t be afraid to take action. Attend a beach clean up or environmental fundraiser, or donate to organizations and causes. Some problems, like war and terrorism, are more abstract, but you can help by talking with your child and helping them research and learn more about the topics of their concern. Find ways that do offer help with these larger scale problems—like community service for war veterans, or supporting peace efforts and relief in war-torn places.

Be a role model

As always, kids learn from our actions. If you are a constant worrier, stressing over things outside your control, how can you expect your child to do differently? Take positive action with things that complicate your life, and know when to move on from ineffective worrying. Stay upbeat and demonstrate that through strength, courage and support, we can get through many of life’s challenges.

Source: The Nemours Foundation. “Helping Kids Handle Worry.” kidshealth.org

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Cyber Charter Schools: The Way of the Future?

The concept of students attending cyber schools can seem futuristic, but it may be happening faster than we realize. Some 200,000 students in America attend online school full-time. Many of these students are enrolled in virtual, or cyber, charter schools. A recent report shows that 27 states and Washington, D.C have such schools.

So how does it work? Cyber schools function in many ways like public schools, but the child learns from home. The students have to have a residence in the state the school’s located in. Otherwise, with a computer and Internet connection the main requirements—and often the school pays for part or all of these—these type of schools are growing in popularity.

Students in cyber schools are held to the same standards as those attending actual “brick and mortar schools.” Like traditional schools, cyber schools enroll students from kindergarten to high school. English, science, physical education, math and other core classes remain the same as public schools, and students must take the same state assessment tests as their peers in other schools.

Interactive software allows students and teachers to connect online. Some cyber schools allow students to work at their own pace, while others stick to a more traditional route of classes that are held at specific times every day. There is an obvious benefit to children learning at their own pace, and not feeling in competition or pressure from other students. As students advance, they have more control over their course selection and areas of interest, just as in public schools.

Still, cyber school educators point to the importance of maintaining one-on-one relationships so students don’t get lost in the system. Many cyber schools assign students a supervisor or sort of guidance counselor, in addition to their teacher, to make sure students stay on track and are supported. Other schools back up the virtual lessons with in person follow-ups at learning centers.

There is no real “typical” cyber student. Students can range from athletes or actors who want to learn in a way that doesn’t impede their career path, teenage parents who need to be at home to raise children, those in families who travel frequently, students with special needs, and even those taking virtual classes to catch up before transferring back to a brick and mortar school.

Like public schools, cyber schools accept all students, but educators warn that both students and parents must be committed to this new form of schooling for it to be successful. Because much of the school is individualized and self-motivated, students and their parents, or other learning coaches, must be active in their education.

Interviews for prospective students are typically in person, so educators and students can be sure it is the right choice and fit for them. Parents interested in learning more about cyber schools can find interview locations and resources near them, or speak with other families with children enrolled in cyber schools. At the end of the day, the most important thing is that your child gets the kind of schooling that fits best.

Source: VanderMeulen, Rebecca. “Cyber Charter Schools: Public School at Home?” education.com

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Handling Teacher/Student Conflicts

Like any relationship, teachers and students don’t always mesh completely. While as parents we always hope for the best educators for our child, we can’t always guarantee that the teacher our child is given will be the best fit for him or her. It is the teacher’s job to make sure all students are treated equally and given equal attention, but it’s true that sometimes personalities or teaching styles don’t match up as perfectly as we’d like. Students too have to be reminded that a teacher/student relationship is a two-way street. Just as the teacher has to reach out to each individual student, each student has to respond to the teacher with respect and awareness of the classroom rules and expectations.

But what do you do if your child is having a problem with his or her teacher? Parents have to remember that this two-way relationship requires effort on both sides.

Michael Thompson, Ph.D, speaks about this give and take relationship in his book, The Pressured Child. “Parents have to help the child realize that the teacher is just a person with strengths and limitations. The teacher needs to learn the same about the child. Everything about good teaching is meeting in the middle,” Thompson says.

Sometimes conflicts arise and you may be asked to come in for a meeting with the teacher, or, you may feel it is time to take initiative and request a meeting to discuss your concerns about your child’s status. Before you go to the meeting, Thompson points to some things to remember to make it easier for everyone involved.

While it is important for there to be a mutual respect between parent and teacher, if you find your child’s recurring complaints are valid, acknowledge their feelings and take action. Your child needs to know that you are taking his or her feelings seriously and support them when things appear unfair or are in need of modification.

But, remember to take what your child says with a grain of salt. Students often try to play victim when they have a particularly demanding or strict teacher. Try to put yourself in the teacher’s shoes as well, and definitely be willing to hear his or her (or the school’s) side of the story. Generally speaking, the more serious the complaint or behavior issue, the more important it is to get a clear and complete picture of what happened.

Try to be impartial with your child’s teachers. It’s true that there are some you will like more than others, and it may be that the teachers you like best are the ones who your child complains about, or vice versa. But, remember that your job is to support your child—after all, he or she is the one in the classroom, not you. Don’t let things get personal; stay focused on your child’s needs.

Finally, if the meeting does not help the problem at hand, it may be helpful to go to a principal, guidance counselor or other school administrator and try to explain why your child is struggling. Be prepared, remember to present your case in a factual way, and be ready to brainstorm some solutions to the problem. Thompson explains that it is important to give the school feedback, and to ask them to help address issues to work toward a solution for your child.

If the problem is more with the method or style your child’s teacher uses for instruction, tutoring can be a great counterpoint, and a happy medium between your child’s learning style and the teacher’s expectations.

Handling teacher/student conflicts effectively and respectfully is a great demonstration of interpersonal skills for your child. Chances are students won’t always get along perfectly with everyone and teaching them how to deal with personality conflicts in a mature way now will help them have better relationships later in life.

Source: “Addressing Problems: It’s the Chemistry.” pbs.org.
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