Newsletter December 2009
December 9, 2009
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We strive to bring you the most helpful and up to date information every month, and this month's newsletter is no exception.
You can scroll down through the articles below, or you can click on a headline you like to go directly to that article.

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This Month's Headlines:

Staying Motivated Through the Holidays
Coping with College Applications
Understanding Stress in Children
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Staying Motivated Through the Holidays

As 2009 winds down, every parent wants to see their child wrap up the year in a positive way. But as the holiday break looms just ahead of us, it’s easy for students to become distracted or disengaged in the last three weeks before the year is over.

To keep your child motivated throughout December, it’s important to remember that motivation comes from different places for each child. It’s true that even the most boring subject can be made interesting, and vice versa, so it pays for adults to find out what motivates their child and to use it as a teaching tool. A good teacher knows that it’s hard for students to maintain enthusiasm and interest throughout the year, and will try to make their curriculums more engaging in those times when students can be easily distracted.

But it’s not just up to teachers; parents can help their children stay on course throughout this month as well. Below are a few tips to keep your student interested and focused in school, even amongst the excitement of the holidays.

Give Children Control
Giving students choices lets them take control of their education and helps them learn on terms that work best for them. Let your child decide which assignments to tackle first, and when and how often to take breaks. Your child may also want to discuss assignments with their teacher. If your child isn’t excited about an assignment, but has a different (but still appropriate) idea, it can’t hurt to ask. Most of the time, the teacher will recognize and appreciate your child’s interest and allow them to switch, as long as the same goals and lessons are being achieved.

Raising Confidence
It’s obvious that when children feel confident they are more motivated. Have your child teach you about what he or she is learning. And this doesn’t have to be fake. Sometimes children really are learning things that are new to adults, and your child will feel great teaching you something for a change. Educational games and discussions can also help your child feel confident in speaking their mind and opening up to you.

Get Personal
Having a personal connection to something is often the biggest motivator. Teachers often try to foster this by asking questions and allowing students to make connections between their lives and what they are learning. You can help develop this critical thinking skill too. When your child complains about homework, ask questions that can help reveal why the lessons are useful. Encourage him or her to make connections with other school subjects or current events. If they are having trouble, offer your ideas too.

Tips like these help your child stay focused throughout the year, setting them up for a positive learning experience in the New Year.

Source: Weinstein, Anna. “Keeping Kids Motivated During the Holidays.” education.com.
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Coping with College Applications

The college application process can be a source of great stress for both students and their parents. But it doesn’t have to be all stress and worry; by being informed, students and parents can have a more positive experience, teaching young adults a powerful lesson on coping with difficult tasks and issues in the future.

The procedure of applying itself is an involved one, with a list of details and deadlines that can leave teens feeling the pressure of evaluations and the inherent competitiveness of school admissions. Applying to college also can bring mixed emotions, because even if the student is accepted to the school of their choice, it marks the beginning of a new adventure, one that can be unfamiliar and intimidating.

But there are ways you can help your child stay calm while navigating this exciting time of change and opportunity.

Find out how involved your child would like you to be. Asking them what you can do to help will allow you to understand what your role should be in the process. Some children want support with paperwork, organization and reminders of deadlines, while others may simply want to discuss things but do much of it on their own.

Remember to be optimistic throughout the process, and to not become over-involved. Complaining about the process, doing things your student should be completing, or taking out frustrations on college counselors only shows to your child that this process is difficult and unmanageable. If you can’t handle it, how can they be expected to?

You can be effective by being the calm voice amongst the storm. Let your child know that there is no “perfect” school—each one will have its advantages and disadvantages, just like other important decisions they will have to make in life. Remind them that what’s important is that they make the choice that feels best to them and point out other similar situations where they had to overcome an obstacle and did. And, also remind them that while you are there to support them during their anxiety, plenty of students go through the process each year and survive it. They will too!

Don’t forget to try to keep the process light. While it does mark a big change, this should be an exciting time for your child, full of new opportunities and adventures. Demonstrate this by taking time to help him or her get organized, using a calendar or other system, so the task is broken into more manageable parts. Celebrate when certain tasks are finished, and take a break to recoup when necessary. And most of all, don’t forget your sense of humor. Being able to laugh in what feels like tough times is an important lesson your child will carry into his or her future.

Source: Dahlsgaard, Katherine. “The College Application Process: Helping Your Teen Cope.” NYU Child Study Center, aboutourkids.org.
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Understanding Stress in Children

Last month the American Psychological Association (APA) released a new national survey examining stress in Americans, including young adults. Their findings suggest that aspects such as school pressure and family finances may be having a greater impact on young people than parents realize.

Teens and tweens specifically noted that their stress levels had increased over the past year, with 45% of teens aged 13-17 noting this increase. By comparison, only 28% of adults felt their teens’ stress levels had risen. Similarly, in tweens ages 8-12, 26% reported worrying more this year, with only 17% of parents believing their child was carrying more stress. The study also found that parents are unlikely to consider their children’s stress as significant or extreme, while tweens and teens report that they find themselves worrying a lot.

Stress is a factor that affects all Americans, regardless of age, and its implications can be damaging to both mental and physical health. It’s important to find ways to decrease and manage stress, so that children can focus on learning and enjoying their young adult years.

Not surprisingly, one of the areas where children reported the most stress was in succeeding in school. Some 30% of those polled cited this as a source of their stress, with only 18% of parents noting this as a cause. Many of these children noted that the stress had produced physical symptoms, such as headaches, trouble sleeping or appetite changes. And again, parents under estimated the severity of this.

This study not only points to the alarming levels of stress children are facing, it also suggests that parents and children are not effectively communicating about these subjects. It could be that children are ashamed or afraid to admit to parents how often they worry, or embarrassed to ask for help with homework or course material.

It’s important to open the lines of communication with your child. Find out if they feel stressed, and to what degree, and what they think might be the cause of it. Often times this is the only prompting children will need to admit that they are concerned with their school performance, or that their inability to grasp certain subjects leaves them feeling dejected and worried.

Once you are aware of your child’s sources of stress, you can help them make a plan to lessen it. Tutoring is one of the easiest ways to ease your child’s concerns and frustrations about education. Tutoring can not only help students get a better grasp on subjects and lesson material, and improve performance, but it also shows students that stress is not something beyond their control. Making a plan for tutoring demonstrates that there are positive, active steps they can take to reduce their stress—clearly an important lesson that even adults need to be reminded of.

Source: Stress in America; APA’s Mind/Body Health education campaign. apahelpcenter.org.

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