Newsletter January 2012

January 25, 2012
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We strive to bring you the most helpful and up to date information every month, and this month's newsletter is no exception.
You can scroll down through the articles below, or you can click on a headline you like to go directly to that article.

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This Month's Headlines:

New Year’s Resolutions Aren’t Just for Adults
Developing Critical Thinking Skills
Black History Month: Talking About Race

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Black History Month: Talking About Race

With Martin Luther King’s recent birthday, and Black History Month upon us for the month of January, this time of year provides excellent opportunities to have frank, honest discussions about race with your children.

Race can be a tough, charged topic for many families, regardless of ethnicity, so it’s important to start talking with your child early on about racism, stereotypes, equality and diversity.

Many parents can remember cringe-inducing moments where children loudly exclaim less-than-PC-comments about others in public. But, experts claim that parents should not shy away or be embarrassed by these events, but instead take them as opportunities for education. For example, when a child asks about another’s skin color being different than his or her own, if parents shrink away from the question, children may take away the message that something is wrong with the person in question, or that noticing such differences is taboo and shouldn’t be talked about.

Instead, experts recommend that you use these kinds of uncomfortable moments as segues to education, and that you recognize that it is healthy and normal for children to start considering these differences. Tarah Fleming, director of the Berkeley Multiethnic Education Program, suggests parents encourage their children to explore race further by asking questions: What other differences do they see in their friends or peers? What else do they notice? Then, Fleming suggests you find a book or article that can help you teach your child more about the particular race, religion, or difference they questioned you about. Talk about stereotypes and why they are unfair, and how we should learn to love our differences. The key is to respond calmly, otherwise children may be hesitant to bring up the topic again.

As always, parents should also consider their own behavior. What kinds of ideas about race are they modeling, whether through their actions, things they say in passing, or stereotypes that they are perpetuating? Children absorb so much, it’s important to reflect honestly on our own beliefs and prejudices.

On the flip side, it’s also important as adults not to be offended by children’s comments. A great majority of the time, they are really coming from curiosity rather than any intentional meanness or racism. Cherly McGrew, and African American teacher in El Cajon, California, agrees. When a young Caucasian girl asked about her “chocolate” skin, she embraced it as an opportunity. “I think it’s important that teachers not get offended by children’s comments, but instead let the kids know it’s OK that they have questions,” she says. “I have a lot of literature in the classroom and I try to (talk about) different cultures.”

If you do become aware of biases or hurtful behavior on your child’s part, do everything you can to change and challenge these beliefs. For example, Pauahi McGinn, a San Bruno preschool teacher, had her students sing a Tongan song in class. When they laughed at the lyrics, she questioned them, eventually leading into a discussion about how it feels when people laugh at us because we are different. Turning the tables in this way goes a long way toward teaching compassion, and imagining ourselves in other’s shoes before we pass judgment. “I think the more you voice your opinions when people are biased, the more others will think before they are inconsiderate,” McGinn says.

Finally, it’s crucial for parents to embrace their own identity and to pass on knowledge of tradition to their children. When your children see you celebrating your own and other’s differences, it sends a powerful message that we are all connected and worthy of respect, no matter how different we may appear on the outside.

These kinds of lessons go beyond race and help your child treat other marginalized groups with the respect they deserve too. The same tenets of equality and respect can be applied to gay, bisexual or transgendered people, and people with handicaps, learning disabilities and other challenges. In a world that is so diverse yet so closely connected, this is a life lesson all children should be well versed in.

Source Petker, Elyce. “Open Communication Can Help Kids Develop Healthy Attitudes About Race.” 4children.org.